It doesn’t take Memorial Day to bring up grief and loss for someone who has lost a loved one. The loss of a loved one is the most difficult thing most people ever experience. It is extremely painful to be left with the void and emptiness that was once filled with a loving relationship.  Memorial Day certainly brings it to the forefront and others may remember your loss on that day and perhaps give you a call, but for one who is grieving it is a process that takes on a life of its own. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Everyone grieves differently, grieving is a personal and highly individual experience.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it! Writing all your feelings in a journal, can be extremely helpful to just let it all out! Keep a journal by your bed and write at night before you go to sleep, just let your mind go and write whatever you are hearing in your head without censoring or judging. It is called stream of consciousness writing and it can be very cathartic. Write a letter to your loved one as if they will be able to receive it. Tell them about what has been going on in your life, feel their presence. Listen for their voice and imagine what they would say. Allow yourself to feel a comfort in knowing that, they are just on the other side of the veil that we cannot see, draw on your faith at this time. It’s ok to tell them everything you are feeling, as you are feeling so many mixed emotions and it is good for you to let these emotions out on paper. If you are angry at them for leaving you or angry at yourself for not doing or saying more; write it all down. Write about your loneliness and deep sadness, you can write anything you want now that perhaps you couldn’t tell them before. This is part of the healing process that will eventually help you to find peace and acceptance.

Perhaps even try your hand at poetry, remembering the wonderful things about your loved one. After my mother died I wrote quite a bit of poetry, it felt as if it were just being channeled through me. I was amazed at what I wrote!

The emotions you experience can range from anger and anxiety to sadness, emptiness, denial and fear.

There are five stages of grief:

• Denial- when you say, “This can’t be happening to me.”
• Anger- “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”
• Bargaining-“Make this not happen, and in return I will do anything”
• Depression- “I’m too sad to do anything.”
• And finally Acceptance-you are at peace with what happened.

You do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. You don’t need to experience them in an exact, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re “supposed” to be in. There will be ups and downs.

The single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.

When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.

You will begin to accept what has happened and know that there is a greater purpose in the world and a reason for everything. Freedom from grief comes when you accept those things in your life that you have no power to change.

Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to unfold naturally. It may seem like this is impossible and that life will never feel good again, but this is not the case. It is possible for your loved one to live on in your heart and your memories, and you can heal from grief and begin to live life more fully again.  Listening to this hypnotherapy MP3 can be extremely helpful at a time when you feel like you need support but just don’t have the energy to even get out of bed.

~ Mariah Shipp